Monday, February 16, 2015

A Little Update

I had every intention of posting a review of a little something I got from my mom and sister for Christmas, today.  I really did.  But then life happened.

One of my cats, Sydney,  suddenly became very ill over the weekend.  Today we got her to the vet to find out what was wrong.  After an examination there were a couple possibilities and the good news at that point was that there were no detectable tumors so it did not appear to be what we were expecting to hear (cancer). Some blood work was done and as we waited for the results I sat holding Sydney in my arms. She was bundled in a blanket because her temperature was very low.  When the vet came back - the results were that unfortunately it was the worst case scenario between the two most likely problems.  Her kidneys were failing.  She was only 7 years old.  The vet gave us our options and his honest opinion. Literally a week ago she seemed fine.  In a matter of just a couple days over the weekend she was hit hard with this.  The vet said even in a better overall condition the treatments to try to save her would likely not do anything but postpone the inevitable a little while.  Given that she was in such poor shape he felt she would not respond to treatment at all.

He asked if we wanted to discuss our options for a few minutes and I said yes.  Not because there was anything to think about - I just wanted to steal every last second with her as possible.

A little while later we signed the consent forms and said our final goodbye to our girl.  When asked if we wanted to be present I did not hesitate to say yes. I explained my thinking to the vet as "She's been there for us through so much, we can't abandon her now." He said no one had ever put it that way to him before and he liked that way of thinking.  I held Sydney's  head with one hand and rested my other hand on her little shoulder as he did what he had to do and,  just as I did with Jenna a couple years ago, I closed my eyes and silently told her I love her one last time. The vet's assistant cried along with us - she had totally fallen in love with Sydney instantly and was genuinely saddened by the situation.

I am now a bit concerned about our other cat Dusk.  He is an old dude at this point (he will be 15 soon) and is getting a bit frail and slowing down.  I worry about losing him to his grief over Sydney.  (It happens. My concern is not unfounded.) But I will cross that bridge when I get to it,  if necessary.

It has been a long and difficult weekend particularly today.  I abandoned my daily workout and calorie limit in favor of drowning my sorrows with far too much pizza and a couple donuts.  I will get back to it tomorrow (well I will try very hard anyway) but for tonight I need to wallow.  There are just some situations in life when emotional eating is the only option and for me this is one of them.

I miss my kitty girl already.  :( 
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